Understanding the demand for higher education is essential for providing satisfactory education.The demand for higher education among rural families in China remains extremely strong, reflecting a progressive, dynamic, and often contradictory development process. The generation and operation of rural families’ demand for higher education follow the basic logic of “cognitive level—willingness—action.” The level and specificity of higher education cognition, the strength of willingness, and the enthusiasm for action collectively shape the realistic prospects of rural families’ higher education aspirations.Interactions between rural socialization factors—such as society, economy, culture, and education—and individual factors—such as family resources and children’s expectations—create a complex decision-making matrix. This interplay results in a coexistence of cognitive rationality and irrationality, a weak willingness to adjust aspirations, and significant restraints in taking action. Consequently, rural families face a paradox of cognition, willingness, and action in their pursuit of higher education.